Frequently Asked Questions

How do I start my meditation practice? 

Generally speaking, it's a good idea to set aside time in the morning and evening every day, which can take several weeks to get into the routine. In the beginning, it can be helpful to have the support of a community and highly skilled teachers who can help you strengthen your practice until you are experienced in meditating on your own.

How do I start a period of meditation practice?

Comfortable clothing is also helpful, as tight or binding items can distract from your meditation. Let your heart be the center of what guides your intentions. 

How long should I sit?

If you're beginning a meditation practice, you might want to experiment for 5 minutes once or twice daily. When ready, increase the time by 5 minutes increments until you reach a length of time that works for you. For many, 10-45 minutes twice daily is enough, but 60 minutes can be optimal. If you practice daily, you'll gradually experience noticeable benefits (e.g., less reactivity, more calm) and be more inclined to increase your sitting time.

Does it matter when I sit?

It's best to find a time you can commit to. Sit every day, even if it's for a short period. Morning and evening are often preferred because they set the tone for the day and bring ease and clarity at the end of the day. You might do two or more short sessions, whenever you remember, during each day. 

For a short check-in throughout the day, set aside 2-3 minutes to observe your breathing and body, sensing what is true for you. As you pause more and more, it will become a valuable tool to come back to at any time.

Do I need a special place to do meditation?

It's helpful to find a safe, comfortable place where you can be uninterrupted and quiet, as you give yourself the gift of you. As part of the "art and science" of meditation, you can creatively experiment with what works for you. Most people find it beneficial to be in stillness and silence for deep meditation. Equanimity is a benefit of being in regular practice, wherever you are.

Is there a particular posture I should use?

There no wrong way, you can experiment with different postures. One posture is not better than another. Sitting in a chair is fine, as is sitting in a cross-legged posture. The important thing is to respect your body and do your sitting, standing, walking, or lying down meditation in a way that balances relaxation and alertness.

That said, here are some helpful tips for sitting posture:

• Sit in a way that allows the spine to be upright and relaxed, following its natural curves.

• Allow the shoulders to relax back and down.

• Rest the hands on the thighs or in the lap and allow the arms to relax.

• Allow the back of the neck to lengthen and the chin to slightly tuck in. Relax the face; allow the brow to be smooth, and the eyes, jaw, and even the tongue to soften and relax.

• Allow the body to breath in its natural way. Striving or changing the natural breath can cause stress. Just observe.

How do I know what to use as an "anchor?"

It is helpful to select a meditation anchor (or several anchors) that allow you to stabilize and steady the mind. Remember that it is quite natural that your attention will wander away from the anchor. When you notice this, gently escort your attention back into the anchor. No need to judge yourself. Returning to your anchor over and over develops the muscle of meditation, and in time the mind will naturally settle and quiet.

Useful anchors are:

• The breath at the entrance of the nostrils.

• The rise and fall of the chest or belly. You can also put your hand on your belly and feel the rise and fall, which is in perfect synchronicity with your breathing. 

• The whole body as you breathe.

• Other physical sensations in the hands or through the whole body.

• Combining the breath with sensations in the hands.

• Sounds within or around you.

• Listening to and feeling one's entire sensory experience.

Discover what works for you to be fully present. It is helpful to select neutral or pleasant sensations because the mind will be more inclined to rest there.

What if I can't follow my breath or close my eyes?

If you can't follow your breath, you might use your hand on your belly to further stabilize attention. If you can't close your eyes, try resting your gaze on one thing and stay with it. Alternately, sounds, body sensations, or breath combined with body sensations.

Do I always keep the same meditation anchor?

It's helpful to use the same meditation anchor regularly, but there may be times when you want to choose another anchor. Your practice may grow to include a different meditation anchor, for instance, bringing mindfulness to a thought, an emotion, body sensations, and sounds.

What if I want to follow a thought? Can that be helpful? When do I go back to the breath?

When practicing mindfulness meditation, we are learning to recognize thoughts without becoming lost in their content. This gives us the capacity to choose later what thoughts to contemplate. 

The ability to choose is precious. While some thoughts serve us well, many do not. In mindfulness practice, we learn to recognize that thinking is going on and reconnect with our breath or chosen anchor. With practice, this pathway becomes increasingly natural and ease-filled. In time, our lives become guided by the wisdom that "I am not my thoughts; I don't have to believe my thoughts."

When do I use the lovingkindness and forgiveness practices?

The heart practices of lovingkindness and compassion, go together with mindfulness practice like two wings of a bird. They are a natural outcome of mindfulness. When we bring kind attention to physical or emotional difficulty, our heart opens in compassion. Moments of compassion soften and open us in a way that allows Love and wisdom to rise.

CHALLENGES 

My mind is always busy, lost in thought. How do I quiet it?

This is very common. This is natural and there is nothing wrong. Understand, too, that there is no need to get rid of thoughts; this is not the purpose of meditation. What happens when you try not to focus on something? You think of it more. In mindfulness, we learn to recognize when thinking is happening, without reacting. 

• Anchor your attention in the body or breath over and over. When it wanders, gently bring it back again and again.

• Try not to judge thinking. Respond to thoughts with acceptance and friendliness.

• When you find you're lost in thought, return to your anchor. Remember that your thoughts are real but may not be true.  

• Just like waves in a swimming pool, the mind will gradually calm down. Eventually, it will be clear.

I get sleepy during meditation. What do I do?

Sleepiness is very common in meditation. Sometimes, we're tired and just need more sleep. Many of us experience lots of stimulation and fast-paced life, so when our bodies get still, the mind thinks, "Time to sleep!" Another cause is imbalanced energy. You can be too relaxed without sufficient alertness, so the mind begins to sink into sleepiness. To arouse energy, you can pay more attention to the in-breath, sit up straighter, open your eyes, continue practicing with standing meditation, or shift to walking meditation.

 A deeper cause of sleepiness can be unconscious avoidance of a difficult experience that is close to awareness. You might ask yourself, "What would I have to feel if I wasn't sleepy right now?"

Whatever the cause, mindfulness can notice what sleepiness feels like in the body and mind and notice when it diminishes. The art of the practice is to be non-judgemental with ourselves, as judgment interferes with a simple mindful presence.

I can't sit still. I'm restless. What can I do?

Restlessness is common in meditation, which can be an imbalance in energy. As opposed to sleepiness, too much energy brings agitation.

First, simply notice restlessness mindfully and let it be present without judgment, accepting your experience as it is. Then, bring awareness to the breath. Once aware of your breath, scan the body for obvious areas of tightness, tension, or discomfort and relax them rather than fighting the restlessness. Patience and kindness aid a restless body or mind in the same way they would aid a child who is feeling restless. You might whisper to yourself, "May you be at ease."

If sitting feels too hard, switch to walking meditation or even exercise to release pent up energy. You could begin with a moderate pace to match the energy and gradually slow the pace down. 

I'm bored! 

Boredom is common, but being bored to death is not. Sometimes when the mind settles and nothing is happening, we miss the stimulation. Have you ever unconsciously opened the refrigerator or gone online? The practice allows you to explore your relationship with boredom. We don't have to do anything about boredom, which can be liberating for many people. How does boredom feel in the body? Can you breathe with it? Boredom can be the outcome of disconnecting from the present moment. Welcome the boredom, and it may disappear!

When I meditate, sometimes I feel a lot of fear … how do I deal with that?

Through introspection, we encounter a mix of pleasant and challenging emotions. It's helpful to bring a genuine interest and kind attention by acknowledging and naming it "fear, fear," and experimenting with allowing rather than pushing it away. You can experiment with placing your hand on your heart and whispering a message of self-compassion, "This is hard, and I am here," "May I be at ease," "I love you (your name)," or whatever words or gestures are compassionate for you. Observe thoughts tied to past or future scenarios and the physical sensations in the body. Focus on the sensations (tension, heat, rapid breath, etc.) with compassion and reassurance that strong emotions are temporary and will eventually pass. If the fear becomes overwhelming, take self-care measures that support your equanimity. Engage in calming activities like talking to a friend or therapist. 

During Meditatio, I feel a lot of sadness—tears come. What can I do?

Like fear, sorrow, and grief arise in practice as part of the human experience. You can mindfully recognize the sadness, allow tears to flow, and lovingly attend to the sensations described above with fear. Scenes of loss may arise. You can stay present, breathing with the sadness, holding yourself with a loving presence, and allowing the waves of grief to rise and pass. If sadness is too intense, remember that self-care is a wise gesture and engage with a friend, therapist, or other resource.

What if I can't feel anything in my body?

This is common. Mindfulness of body and breath takes practice. It can take time to awaken your awareness and recognize sensations inside you. Notice attitude or judgment about not feeling anything in your body. Start by scanning your body and noticing where you feel neutral or slightly pleasant sensations like the contact where your clothes meet your skin, sensations in the hands or feet, coolness or warmth. Sometimes, tensing and relaxing a body part helps to make the sensations more obvious—increasing the blood flow makes it easier to feel tingling, pulsing, heat, etc.

Often, we are cut off from body sensations and emotions because they are intense, unfamiliar, or unpleasant. Try to befriend whatever you experience with patient, gentle, and curious attention. Keep practicing. 

I'm How do I start my meditation practice? 

Generally speaking, it's a good idea to set aside time in the morning and evening every day, which can take several weeks to get into the routine. In the beginning, it can be helpful to have the support of a community and highly skilled teachers who can help you strengthen your practice until you are experienced in meditating on your own.

How do I start a period of meditation practice?

Comfortable clothing is also helpful, as tight or binding items can distract from your meditation. Let your heart be the center of what guides your intentions. 

How long should I sit?

If you're beginning a meditation practice, you might want to experiment for 5 minutes once or twice daily. When ready, increase the time by 5 minutes increments until you reach a length of time that works for you. For many, 10-45 minutes twice daily is enough, but 60 minutes can be optimal. If you practice daily, you'll gradually experience noticeable benefits (e.g., less reactivity, more calm) and be more inclined to increase your sitting time.

Does it matter when I sit?

It's best to find a time you can commit to. Sit every day, even if it's for a short period. Morning and evening are often preferred because they set the tone for the day and bring ease and clarity at the end of the day. You might do two or more short sessions, whenever you remember, during each day. 

For a short check-in throughout the day, set aside 2-3 minutes to observe your breathing and body, sensing what is true for you. As you pause more and more, it will become a valuable tool to come back to at any time.

Do I need a special place to do meditation?

It's helpful to find a safe, comfortable place where you can be uninterrupted and quiet, as you give yourself the gift of you. As part of the "art and science" of meditation, you can creatively experiment with what works for you. Most people find it beneficial to be in stillness and silence for deep meditation. Equanimity is a benefit of being in regular practice, wherever you are.

Is there a particular posture I should use?

There no wrong way, you can experiment with different postures. One posture is not better than another. Sitting in a chair is fine, as is sitting in a cross-legged posture. The important thing is to respect your body and do your sitting, standing, walking, or lying down meditation in a way that balances relaxation and alertness.

That said, here are some helpful tips for sitting posture:

• Sit in a way that allows the spine to be upright and relaxed, following its natural curves.

• Allow the shoulders to relax back and down.

• Rest the hands on the thighs or in the lap and allow the arms to relax.

• Allow the back of the neck to lengthen and the chin to slightly tuck in. Relax the face; allow the brow to be smooth, and the eyes, jaw, and even the tongue to soften and relax.

• Allow the body to breath in its natural way. Striving or changing the natural breath can cause stress. Just observe.

How do I know what to use as an "anchor" or "home base?"

It is helpful to select a meditation anchor (or several anchors) that allow you to stabilize and steady the mind. Remember that it is quite natural that your attention will wander away from the anchor. When you notice this, gently escort your attention back into the anchor. No need to judge yourself. Returning to your anchor over and over develops the muscle of meditation, and in time the mind will naturally settle and quiet.

Useful anchors are:

• The breath at the entrance of the nostrils.

• The rise and fall of the chest or belly. You can also put your hand on your belly and feel the rise and fall, which is in perfect synchronicity with your breathing. 

• The whole body as you breathe.

• Other physical sensations in the hands or through the whole body.

• Combining the breath with sensations in the hands.

• Sounds within or around you.

• Listening to and feeling one's entire sensory experience.

Discover what works for you to be fully present. It is helpful to select neutral or pleasant sensations because the mind will be more inclined to rest there.

What if I can't follow my breath or close my eyes?

If you can't follow your breath, you might use your hand on your belly to further stabilize attention. If you can't close your eyes, try resting your gaze on one thing and stay with it. Alternately, sounds, body sensations, or breath combined with body sensations.

Do I always keep the same meditation anchor?

It's helpful to use the same meditation anchor regularly, but there may be times when you want to choose another anchor. Your practice may grow to include a different meditation anchor, for instance, bringing mindfulness to a thought, an emotion, body sensations, and sounds.

What if I want to follow a thought? Can that be helpful? When do I go back to the breath?

When practicing mindfulness meditation, we are learning to recognize thoughts without becoming lost in their content. This gives us the capacity to choose later what thoughts to contemplate. 

The ability to choose is precious. While some thoughts serve us well, many do not. In mindfulness practice, we learn to recognize that thinking is going on and reconnect with our breath or chosen anchor. With practice, this pathway becomes increasingly natural and ease-filled. In time, our lives become guided by the wisdom that "I am not my thoughts; I don't have to believe my thoughts."

When do I use the lovingkindness and forgiveness practices?

The heart practices of lovingkindness and compassion, go together with mindfulness practice like two wings of a bird. They are a natural outcome of mindfulness. When we bring kind attention to physical or emotional difficulty, our heart opens in compassion. Moments compassion soften and open us in a way that allows Love and wisdom to rise.

CHALLENGES IN PRACTICE

My mind is always busy, lost in thought. How do I quiet it?

This is very common. This is natural and there is nothing wrong. Understand, too, that there is no need to get rid of thoughts; this is not the purpose of meditation. What happens when you try not to focus on something? You think of it more. In mindfulness, we learn to recognize when thinking is happening, without reacting. 

• Anchor your attention in the body or breath over and over. When it wanders, gently bring it back again and again.

• Try not to judge thinking. Respond to thoughts with acceptance and friendliness.

• When you find you're lost in thought, return to your anchor. Remember that your thoughts are real but may not be true.  

• Just like waves in a swimming pool, the mind will gradually calm down. Eventually, it will be clear.

I get sleepy during meditation. What do I do?

Sleepiness is very common in meditation. Sometimes, we're tired and just need more sleep. Many of us experience lots of stimulation and fast-paced life, so when our bodies get still, the mind thinks, "Time to sleep!" Another cause is imbalanced energy. You can be too relaxed without sufficient alertness, so the mind begins to sink into sleepiness. To arouse energy, you can pay more attention to the in-breath, sit up straighter, open your eyes, continue practicing with standing meditation, or shift to walking meditation.

 A deeper cause of sleepiness can be unconscious avoidance of a difficult experience that is close to awareness. You might ask yourself, "What would I have to feel if I wasn't sleepy right now?"

Whatever the cause, mindfulness can notice what sleepiness feels like in the body and mind and notice when it diminishes. The art of the practice is to be non-judgemental with ourselves, as judgment interferes with a simple mindful presence.

I can't sit still. I'm restless. What can I do?

Restlessness is common in meditation, which can be an imbalance in energy. As opposed to sleepiness, too much energy brings agitation.

First, simply notice restlessness mindfully and let it be present without judgment, accepting your experience as it is. Then, bring awareness to the breath. Once aware of your breath, scan the body for obvious areas of tightness, tension, or discomfort and relax them rather than fighting the restlessness. Patience and kindness aid a restless body or mind in the same way they would aid a child who is feeling restless. You might whisper to yourself, "May you be at ease."

If sitting feels too hard, switch to walking meditation or even exercise to release pent up energy. You could begin with a moderate pace to match the energy and gradually slow the pace down. 

I'm bored! 

Boredom is common, but being bored to death is not. Sometimes when the mind settles and nothing is happening, we miss the stimulation. Have you ever unconsciously opened the refrigerator or gone online? The practice allows you to explore your relationship with boredom. We don't have to do anything about boredom, which can be liberating for many people. How does boredom feel in the body? Can you breathe with it? Boredom can be the outcome of disconnecting from the present moment. Welcome the boredom, and it may disappear!

When I meditate, sometimes I feel a lot of fear … how do I deal with that?

Through introspection, we encounter a mix of pleasant and challenging emotions. It's helpful to bring a genuine interest and kind attention by acknowledging and naming it "fear, fear," and experimenting with allowing rather than pushing it away. You can experiment with placing your hand on your heart and whispering a message of self-compassion, "This is hard, and I am here," "May I be at ease," "I love you (your name)," or whatever words or gestures are compassionate for you. Observe thoughts tied to past or future scenarios and the physical sensations in the body. Focus on the sensations (tension, heat, rapid breath, etc.) with compassion and reassurance that strong emotions are temporary and will eventually pass. If the fear becomes overwhelming, take self-care measures that support your equanimity. Engage in calming activities like talking to a friend or therapist. 

During Meditation, I feel a lot of sadness—tears come. What can I do?

Like fear, sorrow, and grief arise in practice as part of the human experience. You can mindfully recognize the sadness, allow tears to flow, and lovingly attend to the sensations described above with fear. Scenes of loss may arise. You can stay present, breathing with the sadness, holding yourself with a loving presence, and allowing the waves of grief to rise and pass. If sadness is too intense, remember that self-care is a wise gesture and engage with a friend, therapist, or other resource.

What if I can't feel anything in my body?

This is common. Mindfulness of body and breath takes practice. It can take time to awaken your awareness and recognize sensations inside you. Notice attitude or judgment about not feeling anything in your body. Start by scanning your body and noticing where you feel neutral or slightly pleasant sensations like the contact where your clothes meet your skin, sensations in the hands or feet, coolness or warmth. Sometimes, tensing and relaxing a body part helps to make the sensations more obvious—increasing the blood flow makes it easier to feel tingling, pulsing, heat, etc.

Often, we are cut off from body sensations and emotions because they are intense, unfamiliar, or unpleasant. Try to befriend whatever you experience with patient, gentle, and curious attention. Keep practicing. 

How do I deal with pain—in my legs, back, etc.?

Bringing mindfulness to physical discomfort can be a good way to strengthen your practice. Conduct your body scan as usual. Your attention will likely get pulled to the pain. It's good to acknowledge it, and then scan the whole body. It's helpful to keep scanning, staying no longer than one minute on each body part, scanning for other sensations, not just the most noticeable. You might include sounds and/or other anchors to guide your awareness. With spacious and kind attention, be aware of not only the physical sensations but how you are relating to them. Is there resistance? Fear? If so, let these energies be included. Self Forgiveness is also something to explore. 

If the physical unpleasantness is intense and wearing you out, direct your attention, for a while, to something else. It is skillful to adjust posture and discover space and resilience. To "tough it out" is just another ego posture that solidifies the inevitable- to "give up." Instead, allow pain sensations to be received with loving presence.

What is RAIN?

RAIN is a four-step process for relating skillfully with strong physical sensations, emotions, and thought patterns. it can help us come home to our deepest truth, bringing clarity and calm, like the clear sky after rain. A RAIN partner is highly encouraged to practice with. Find a friend or even practice with a therapist or meditation teacher.

The four steps of RAIN are:

• R – Recognize what is happening

• A – Allow life to be just as it is

• I – Inquire about your inner experience with kind attention

• N – Nurture with gentle and loving awareness of reality.

RAIN directly deconditions the habitual ways you resist your moment-to-moment experience. In difficulties, instead of resisting reality by lashing out, getting angry, numbing, or obsessive thinking, You can learn to work with really intense situations that result is peace and ease. 

Sometimes I feel like giving up—that meditation will not help me. What if I give up? Can I start again?

Many people feel like giving up when they begin a meditation practice. a common question is, am I doing this right? We may experience self-doubt about our capacity to meditate. This is the challenge of doubt, but don't let it decide what you do.

If you can breathe, you can meditate! If you can think of something(like pizza), you can mediate. Most people don't learn to ride a bike on the first try but can have fun as they learn. See if you can cultivate a sense of curiosity, fun, persistence, and gentleness as you explore meditation. Meditation practice is really a lifelong adventure with ups and downs, but the strength of a community like Well & Being can support you and be there when you arrive, again and again. Arriving and re-arriving to yourself is the practice. 

SUPPORT FOR A REGULAR PRACTICE

It's hard to discipline myself to sit every day. What helps in developing a regular practice?

Make a commitment to sit every day even if it's for just a few breaths. Rely on your community of meditators or be in contact with your favorite teacher. It's also helpful to journal what you're feeling about meditation. A journal also helps you keep track; you may share it with a teacher or practice buddy.

Is it helpful to practice meditation with other people?

Yes, absolutely! Regularly meditating with other people is vital support for your meditation practice. It can create a sense of belonging, and the wisdom shared by a group can be of great benefit.

What are some other things I can do to support my meditation practice?

• Service- serve your community and support other meditators. Contact Well & Being for upcoming service opportunities. 

• Remember that you want to be happy. Meditation can help.

• Use inspiring resources such as books, audio, or Mindfulness events at Well & Being. 

• Attend a 10 day Vipassana Course or Sign up for our next retreat—one day, weekend, or longer. The experience will deepen your practice and nourish spiritual awakening.

• If you miss practice for a day, a week, or a month, simply begin again.

• Find a "practice buddy" and offer support to keep practicing.

• If you need guidance, ask for help from an experienced teacher. All teachers at Well & Being are highly skilled and have years of experience in their practice. 

• Don't judge your practice— accept it and trust your capacity to awaken and be free!

• Live with reverence- seeing, honoring, and serving all beings.

May you grow strong in practice, opening to the sources of light, wisdom, and freedom within you. May you and all beings be happy and experience the joy of life to its fullest.